<br />OMG!!!!!!...Did you even read the post???!! <br /><br /> I JUST EXPLAINED ALL THAT TO YOU!<br /><br /> /scream/ <br /><br /> ::)<br /><br /> crash/ <br /><br /><br />:roll: <br /><br />okay, over it.......sorry folks.....moving on typing/<br />
<br /><br />Are you saying this to me? If you are, you can politely ask me to re-read your posts. I could miss it or didn't understand it. <br />
<br />[size=12pt]<br />This wasn't directed at you PureLove[/size] bearhug<br />
<br /><br />Ohh ok then. You were answering to my post in TS' thread and I thought you were saying these to me. I'm talking about the video footage tho and not about the still pictures of the helicopter transfer. Thanks for clearing this up. bearhug
sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br />
<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br /><br />Dear MJFAN7, I'm upset by your story. I hope everything is OK with you? <br />I wish I could say something to comfort you....<br />Just know that we'll never let go of your hand....and I hope things will get better for you....
<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br /><br />@ mjfan7 - i am very sorry and saddened to hear that you go through this everyday. your post made me quite emotional. stay strong little sister and keep your head above water... amazing people often come out of situations of opression. so again, please stay strong.<br /><br /><br />
<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br /><br />Massive hugs to you. bearhug<br /><br />I know the pain of living with addicts only too well so I really sympathise with you.
<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br /><br />Sorry to hear about your situation.<br />When this cases take place, the next step depend on state law and the severity of abuse.<br /><br />All children and adolescents have the right to a standard of living adequate for their development. This right includes, among others: Food nutritionally balanced, quality and quantity that meets the standards of dietetics, hygiene and health.<br /><br />Each country has different laws. Do you have a family member you could trust to talk about it?, or a mentor in your school that you could talk to?<br /><br />Hugs
Thanks everyone for your support. I kinda wish I didn't post that now :oops: because I feel like im being selfish, I know I have nothing to complain about because so many kids have it WAY worse then me, and I feel for them... but it's getting worse everyday and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to tell a mentor or anyone, because they'll probably call police. and I don't want to live in a foster home or something. I don't want my dad going to jail either, because of course I love him... just not when he's drunk or high, but I can't even remember the last time he wasn't on drugs. Maybe once every 2 months he's sober, I can't even tell anymore! :evil: argue/
The services would value the situation from non risky to acute danger. If for your well being the authorities consider that your dad should go to rehab, then it would be good for him, for you and the whole family.<br /><br />Your words:<br />"i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face"<br /><br />This is not a normal situation. Please, do not feel guilty. Try to talk to a family member you trust.
also an idea might be to talk to a social worker at school if you didnt feel comfortable telling a family member.<br /><br />i had a father who was a drug addict. i used to feel guilty all the time. tortured myself for 15 years... as an adult i finally realised he was responsible for his choices and i didnt need to feel guilty anymore...<br /><br />please talk to someone so that you can get the nourishment you need. if i lived in the same country as you i would definitely help you.<br /><br />social worker at community centre might help, or school social worker, or school councellor. also as miss g said, a trusted family member or family friend.<br /><br />love and peace to you. dont feel bad for venting here. there are lots of people who care and you deserve at the very least in this situation to have your feelings heard. <br /><br />
<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing that with us and for trusting your Hoax family! It might be helpful for you to attend some AA meetings if you are able to...maybe your Mom can go too. Your father can't reason if he is drinking....he most likely has a Jekyl/Hyde personality. It must be overwhelming for you to try to do well in school while your home life is so turbulent. At this point you have to just take care of yourself....you can't fix your Dad or your Mom....but you can help yourself. Try to find a school counselor or therapist to talk to....it really does help. In the meantime, please vent as often as you need to!!! :::hugs::::
<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br /><br /><br /><br />Hun, I wish I knew how to help you. Last time we spoke your dad was going for a rehab. Didn't it work for him? I am really so so sorry to hear that your situation didn't change. You are such a very sweet and pretty girl and you shouldn't have to go through all these. Did you try to talk to your dad and tell him how you feel and how he hurts you? Maybe it is better for him to know. Maybe you can try it when he is sober. But like the rest of the friends here wrote, you need to talk to someone professional about this, someone that you can trust and someone who can help you. This is too much for you to handle alone. <br /><br />And think about this. You are 15, right? Just in a couple of years, you will go to college, your life will change. So just hang on girl. Just a couple of years more. Try to eat and take care of yourself and think positive. Everything is going to be great for you because that is what you deserve and that is what you will receive. Believe in that.<br /><br />You can PM me anytime, you know that. My english is not that good but still I feel for you and I will try to do my best for you. I Love You sweety and I am so so sorry. Know that you are cared and loved here. Big big hugs for you. bearhug
@MJFAN7.....I've been thinking about your situation all day . Llike everyone else in your MJ family, I am really concerned. However, I got to thinking, that if you are 15 now, would you consider trying to get a small part time job.... maybe a couple of shifts after school or on the weekend? Here in Australia, there are a lot of jobs for checkout operators in retail for people aged 14 and up. The pay is minimal, but it would at least give you some money of your own as well as getting you out of the house and meeting and mixing with other people. One step outside of your present circumstances may be the very beginning to setting in motion a chain of events that will bring about the change that you so much deserve to have. I'm praying that God will make a way for you where there doesn't appear to be one. A big hug for you bearhug You are beautiful.
Thanks so much for the support, I should know I can always know you guys will be there for me when I'm feeling like no one cares. bearhug<br /><br />
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<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br />
<br /><br />Thank you for sharing that with us and for trusting your Hoax family! It might be helpful for you to attend some AA meetings if you are able to...maybe your Mom can go too. Your father can't reason if he is drinking....he most likely has a Jekyl/Hyde personality. It must be overwhelming for you to try to do well in school while your home life is so turbulent. At this point you have to just take care of yourself....you can't fix your Dad or your Mom....but you can help yourself. Try to find a school counselor or therapist to talk to....it really does help. In the meantime, please vent as often as you need to!!! :::hugs::::
<br /><br />He refuses to go to AA /: he tried it for a few weeks in August and he quit. He told us he learned his lesson and he wouldn't do it again, and then we're back in the same situation we are now. I can't deal with it, of course I love my Dad, so I'm always worried he'll die because of these habits. & I am taking care of myself, It's just hard sometimes. <br /><br />
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<br />sjkafhjksdhfjkhjksdhjkfshdkjfhjksdfjksd<br /><br />i HATE my dad so much. he apparently makes so much money, but yet he never has any for his family because he spends all of it on himself for drugs. i dont eat lunch at school, because my mom cant afford it. i dont eat much for dinner either. thats why im underweight, and that causes me to get sick very often, then i miss school, and thats why my grades have been dropping which only makes my parents yell at me even more. almost every night my dad comes home drunk and all he does is yell in my face, even when I don't say anything to him. i wont even look at him. and most of the time i dont cry until he leaves, but even now im crying, and he doesnt care. i dont know why im writing this, but i trust you all, you guys are my family. i probably wont even post it, or ill end up erasing everything, but i just need to vent. <br /><br /> <br />
<br /><br /><br /><br />Hun, I wish I knew how to help you. Last time we spoke your dad was going for a rehab. Didn't it work for him? I am really so so sorry to hear that your situation didn't change. You are such a very sweet and pretty girl and you shouldn't have to go through all these. Did you try to talk to your dad and tell him how you feel and how he hurts you? Maybe it is better for him to know. Maybe you can try it when he is sober. But like the rest of the friends here wrote, you need to talk to someone professional about this, someone that you can trust and someone who can help you. This is too much for you to handle alone. <br /><br />And think about this. You are 15, right? Just in a couple of years, you will go to college, your life will change. So just hang on girl. Just a couple of years more. Try to eat and take care of yourself and think positive. Everything is going to be great for you because that is what you deserve and that is what you will receive. Believe in that.<br /><br />You can PM me anytime, you know that. My english is not that good but still I feel for you and I will try to do my best for you. I Love You sweety and I am so so sorry. Know that you are cared and loved here. Big big hugs for you. bearhug<br />
<br /><br />Yes, that was in August, and he stopped after like 2 weeks or so. I've tried telling him how it hurts, but he doesn't care or do anything about it. And I know, thank you for always being there for me. I love you! bearhug (and you're not a native english speaker? I never knew that. Your english is perfectly fine!)<br /><br />
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<br />@MJFAN7.....I've been thinking about your situation all day . Llike everyone else in your MJ family, I am really concerned. However, I got to thinking, that if you are 15 now, would you consider trying to get a small part time job.... maybe a couple of shifts after school or on the weekend? Here in Australia, there are a lot of jobs for checkout operators in retail for people aged 14 and up. The pay is minimal, but it would at least give you some money of your own as well as getting you out of the house and meeting and mixing with other people. One step outside of your present circumstances may be the very beginning to setting in motion a chain of events that will bring about the change that you so much deserve to have. I'm praying that God will make a way for you where there doesn't appear to be one. A big hug for you bearhug You are beautiful.<br />
<br /><br />Thank you so much, dear. I can't really get a job, not many places hire at 15 because they have to do a lot of extra paper work, so they don't bother. The closest thing to a job I have is in the summer when I'm a candy striper, and sometimes people insist on giving me tips. But that's about it. <br />I'll be 16 in a few weeks, so hopefully I'll get a job then. Thank you again, i love you all so much! bearhug<br /><br />
bearhug MJFAN7!<br />Please please please take the advices to look for help from some professionel to get yourself out of the trap because you're worth to be loved unconditionally. Addicteve parents are tricky and will continue to take advantage, because kids love them no matter what. Kids also feel guilty if parents can't manage their lives - it's really a trap. Please give yourself a chance to experience LOVE that doesn't hurt, because Love never hurts, and if it hurts there is something really really wrong about it. <br />In my country we have 'bottle-post-groups' for kids and teenies, my experience is 100% positive because it makes a huge relief to meet people whith similar experiences.....it will take away the feeling of guilt, shame and isolation. You are worth much better than feeling alone, guilty, ashamed and powerless. <br />Please understand that there are people who need to take education in their own hands very early in order to fullfill God's plan - you seem to be one of them. Your duty and responsibility is to develope the unique loving person you are and fill your life with Love.
OMG so you were serious about it :shock:.<br />I don't even know what to say.<br />Just trust that one day you will be able to leave that home and find someone who cares about you and start a new life. But unfortunately the scar in your soul will be there for the rest of your life .<br />You are not responsible for your parents' behavior. You are not responsible for their well being. You concentrate on yourself FIRST and let them solve their problems. <br /><br />Like someone who is seeing this from outside I would dare to say your father has probably a deep suffering in his soul. I do not know what it can be. I suppose he just tries to forget about it by getting drunk or high. He should face his real problem first and then try to get rid of the addiction. It's no use to get rid of the toxin in his body if the "toxin" in his soul is still there. Well this is just my unqualified opinion.<br /><br />[size=14pt]Please do not ever feel GUILTY or think less of yourself because of this situation[/size]. They are to blame, not you, and maybe not even they, who knows where the truth is.<br /><br />Take care.<br />
THe problem with alcoholism is that it destroys everyone around. Sad fact: alcoholics lie and victimize themselves. They can change...if they want.<br /><br />I am in no way trashing your dad. He has a choice, the family or himself, and right now he is choosing himself above you all. He can change. He needs to stop being selfish and start to care for his family who show everyday that he is loved.<br /><br />My opinion is that alcoholism is a social disease/ disfunction.<br /><br />Sure there are reasons for him to drink and go in to that destructive behaviour, but victimizing himself is killing all of you. You have the human right to be raised within an stable enviroment. Your future development depends on that as well.<br /><br />Choices. He is feeling miserable and makes everyone part of his mysery. That is very egoistic and not fair.<br /><br />The best way to help him is not supporting his addiction or finding excuses about why he behaves like that, the way is getting in contact with professionals. If he refuses, then for the sake of all of you, paperwork must be done.<br /><br />This is just my personal opinion. I am just bored of seeing families broken just because of the egocentricity of one particular member that only thinks about him/herself and drops out of solutions, like effective therapy for a change, because their patterns are more productive to them emotionally talking.<br /><br />
Thank you so much heartwarrior & Gina, you're a sweetheart, thank you soo much for the support. bearhug<br /><br />
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<br />THe problem with alcoholism is that it destroys everyone around. Sad fact: alcoholics lie and victimize themselves. They can change...if they want.<br /><br />I am in no way trashing your dad. He has a choice, the family or himself, and right now he is choosing himself above you all. He can change. He needs to stop being selfish and start to care for his family who show everyday that he is loved.<br /><br />My opinion is that alcoholism is a social disease/ disfunction.<br /><br />Sure there are reasons for him to drink and go in to that destructive behaviour, but victimizing himself is killing all of you. You have the human right to be raised within an stable enviroment. Your future development depends on that as well.<br /><br />Choices. He is feeling miserable and makes everyone part of his mysery. That is very egoistic and not fair.<br /><br />The best way to help him is not supporting his addiction or finding excuses about why he behaves like that, the way is getting in contact with professionals. If he refuses, then for the sake of all of you, paperwork must be done.<br /><br />This is just my personal opinion. I am just bored of seeing families broken just because of the egocentricity of one particular member that only thinks about him/herself and drops out of solutions, like effective therapy for a change, because their patterns are more productive to them emotionally talking.<br />
<br /><br />Don't worry, I'm not offended. I say the same stuff to my Dad, he does choose himself over his family, and he makes my Mom cry all the time. & Everyone knows that seeing your Mom cry is one of the worst things. pale/<br />I don't know how else I can get to my Dad. I've told him how I felt, I've cried, I told him I would run away and he still does it. He doesn't care.
"The best way to help him is not supporting his addiction or finding excuses about why he behaves like that, the way is getting in contact with professionals. If he refuses, then for the sake of all of you, paperwork must be done"
This is so sad - MissG, with all due respect, addiction is NOT about selfishness. It is a physiological, biochemical condition that is no-one's fault. I don't doubt for one moment that pretty much every addict of any description would love not to be that way, but they can't find and don't know that there IS a way out of their destructive patterns. Google 'Kathleen DesMaisons alcoholism' if you are interested in seeing this from a radically different perspective, that I know from personal experience is worth paying attention to. Most 'professionals' are fumbling about in the dark as much as their 'patients' are. PM me if you want to discuss more as I'm not comfortable doing it here.
MJFAN7 you're such a beautiful girl, is that your photo?<br /><br />Look, maybe this is an old-fashioned piece of advise, but maybe more prayers would be good for something. Usually it helps a lot. Or try reading Psalm 90, someone gave me a little card with it when I was in the hospital a month ago and I loved it so much, gives you strength.<br />
Mjfan7...My heart aches for you, and I know from first hand experience,just how devastating living in constant "chaos" can be. Please, my beautiful little sister, know that none of what is happening is your fault! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and if you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me, because talking with others can be great therapy. Stay strong and positive sweetie, as hard as things may seem right now, you have to Believe that YOUR Life, is not a reflection of your father's, or anyone's for that matter. <br /><br />YOU have to do whatever it takes to ensure that "your" life will be one of happiness and LOVE, and as hard as that may seem at the moment, you must NEVER lose sight of that! It is sad that your parents are not there for you, and that you have to witness, and live through all of their negativity, but you can't lose sight of what is really important here, YOU! Find whatever it is that makes you "feel" good, and nourish yourself sweetie...find that "positive" energy wherever you can, and "thrive" on that good energy. Whether it is Michael's music, talking with us, taking a hot bubble bath, reading...whatever it is that makes you feel good, DO IT! <br /><br />This chapter in your life is just one of God's "life lessons", it is a test of your "Faith" and Belief in yourself. Right now you have a "choice". you can just give up, or you can fight for the LIFE you deserve! I know this is hard being only 15,... I had to grow up way before my time also, but I am telling you that you can change the course of your life...you are the "Captain" of your life, and as much as we need our parents for guidance, the truth is that the only one truly in control of our lives is our self!<br /><br />Mjfan, I have been reading all of your posts, and I can feel your beautiful Heart and spirit...I can feel your strength, and I can feel your LOVE, so that is why I am telling you these things, because I know you are a "survivor", as am I. I have total Faith that if you put your Belief in LOVE and positivity, that you will not only survive this chapter of your Life, but that you will THRIVE, in the new Life that you create for yourself! I Believe in you, God Believes in you, Michael Believes in you...Do YOU Believe in YOU???<br /><br />Please know that I LOVE You very much, and that you are a very important member of our Universal "Family"! I am here for you!<br />LIVE LOVE...BE LOVE, for We are ONE!!!<br /> bearhug<br />
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