Newbie in many ways!
MadneZ
Posts: 60
Hey all.
I am 25 yrs, woman from sweden!
I am going to be very honest here so here it goes.
I grew up with my mom (and sister) my mom listened to MJ's song ALL the time, could hardly miss it cause it was ALWAYS on the radio, mtv and everywhere, LOL. So I grew up hearing his songs, singing along, watching his videos.
BUT
I was never a fan, I still don't consider myself a fan.
Ok, pls don't get angry now <!-- s:( -->:(<!-- s:( --> I am still having guilty feelings over this. The first "scandal" of MJ happened in 93? In 1997 or so when I really got into music I heard, only heard fast on the "news" and mags all over, awful things about him, so, without even thinking about it, I pushed him away from all music and tv. Nothing MJ!
I always was, How can you like MJ he is a Perv, and weird and so on... <!-- s:( -->:(<!-- s:( --> I can't belive I was like that not even looking into it, but I was 10+.
I didn't care about him at all, but yeah some song I heard (cause u cant avoid him hehe) were good. Then the next scandal, I felt disgusted by him, more angry.
Then he died, I felt nothing, I was like oh, what happened, ok whatever. Didn't care so much.
BUT
1 year ago, I awoke as many people are talking about, the awakening. Yup, it happened to me. Loving things started to happen, everything changed. I can't explain it. And I just felt so much love and light and... moving on.
I tend to follow my heart now. Guess where it led me. For some reason I started listening to MJ songs. And then, I started to hear his messages in his songs. I was like, thats how I feel, how could I have missed all this!!!
So I have listened to all his albums I don't know how many times now. Then last week it hit me, he is dead ( I was looking into the Illuminati, that was how I got into MJ) and I never, ever eveeerr have felt such grief, 2 yrs later. ust like that. I swear I have been crying, listening to some of his songs are very tough for me. I jsut feel so much love for him I can't explain it.
I am more into that the Illuminati killed him, if he is dead, they did it! No doubt. If he faked it, he did it because of them and maybe to prove something. For me, it is only one of these things. It is my gut feeling.
There is no doubt in my mind, heart and soul that MJ is INNOSENCE to everything awful that have been thrown at him! It makes me sick!!! (But yet I belived this when I was younger, until little less than 1 month ago)
I thought this death hoax was BULL, LMAO, well here I am. HAHA! But I stay at being in 50/50 about it. Just thinking about him being dead makes me so sad, it is blowing my mind that I am grieving NOW! I felt as if I missed so much!
Why do I belive it might be a hoax, well, he talked about his "murder" coming, years before it did. He could have either know he would be and faked his death to prevent it or just simply be dead. But if anyone could do it it would be MJ. the connections, friends, money, hideouts. He could. He said he got music from heaven, the lyrics, that he channeled these songs. He seem to be very open. Awaken. Pure. Love.
The only brother who has said that it is not a hoax is Jermaine via his twitter. But there are speculations that maybe the jackson family are NOT in on the hoax, or a part of the family are not. So I don't know.
IF it is a hoax and IF he would return, my focus would be on this July, or near next year 2012 or in the beginning of 2013. Or maybe he will never return. or he might just be dead.
Well, this is my whole truth story about my feelings, past and present about MJ. No need to bash me about how I felt about him b4. I am already going through that, allthough I know, the past is the past and the now is now. <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D -->
I will 4-ever LOVE him!
I am 25 yrs, woman from sweden!
I am going to be very honest here so here it goes.
I grew up with my mom (and sister) my mom listened to MJ's song ALL the time, could hardly miss it cause it was ALWAYS on the radio, mtv and everywhere, LOL. So I grew up hearing his songs, singing along, watching his videos.
BUT
I was never a fan, I still don't consider myself a fan.
Ok, pls don't get angry now <!-- s:( -->:(<!-- s:( --> I am still having guilty feelings over this. The first "scandal" of MJ happened in 93? In 1997 or so when I really got into music I heard, only heard fast on the "news" and mags all over, awful things about him, so, without even thinking about it, I pushed him away from all music and tv. Nothing MJ!
I always was, How can you like MJ he is a Perv, and weird and so on... <!-- s:( -->:(<!-- s:( --> I can't belive I was like that not even looking into it, but I was 10+.
I didn't care about him at all, but yeah some song I heard (cause u cant avoid him hehe) were good. Then the next scandal, I felt disgusted by him, more angry.
Then he died, I felt nothing, I was like oh, what happened, ok whatever. Didn't care so much.
BUT
1 year ago, I awoke as many people are talking about, the awakening. Yup, it happened to me. Loving things started to happen, everything changed. I can't explain it. And I just felt so much love and light and... moving on.
I tend to follow my heart now. Guess where it led me. For some reason I started listening to MJ songs. And then, I started to hear his messages in his songs. I was like, thats how I feel, how could I have missed all this!!!
So I have listened to all his albums I don't know how many times now. Then last week it hit me, he is dead ( I was looking into the Illuminati, that was how I got into MJ) and I never, ever eveeerr have felt such grief, 2 yrs later. ust like that. I swear I have been crying, listening to some of his songs are very tough for me. I jsut feel so much love for him I can't explain it.
I am more into that the Illuminati killed him, if he is dead, they did it! No doubt. If he faked it, he did it because of them and maybe to prove something. For me, it is only one of these things. It is my gut feeling.
There is no doubt in my mind, heart and soul that MJ is INNOSENCE to everything awful that have been thrown at him! It makes me sick!!! (But yet I belived this when I was younger, until little less than 1 month ago)
I thought this death hoax was BULL, LMAO, well here I am. HAHA! But I stay at being in 50/50 about it. Just thinking about him being dead makes me so sad, it is blowing my mind that I am grieving NOW! I felt as if I missed so much!
Why do I belive it might be a hoax, well, he talked about his "murder" coming, years before it did. He could have either know he would be and faked his death to prevent it or just simply be dead. But if anyone could do it it would be MJ. the connections, friends, money, hideouts. He could. He said he got music from heaven, the lyrics, that he channeled these songs. He seem to be very open. Awaken. Pure. Love.
The only brother who has said that it is not a hoax is Jermaine via his twitter. But there are speculations that maybe the jackson family are NOT in on the hoax, or a part of the family are not. So I don't know.
IF it is a hoax and IF he would return, my focus would be on this July, or near next year 2012 or in the beginning of 2013. Or maybe he will never return. or he might just be dead.
Well, this is my whole truth story about my feelings, past and present about MJ. No need to bash me about how I felt about him b4. I am already going through that, allthough I know, the past is the past and the now is now. <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D -->
I will 4-ever LOVE him!
Comments
I am a newbie myself but have actually been on this board as a guest since August 2009. I feel like I know everyone too!
Welcome and Have a Blessed Day!
Great to have you here and so glad you have come to enjoy MJ's music for yourself!
I am totally biased but I believe his message is so important and the more people who get it, the better the world will be!
I pray that you will continue to infect those around you with your goodness and love!
LilWendy
MadneZ - welcome (and November - great to hear from you).
I loved your story. There is nothing strange or terrible about what you experienced or what you feel. I am excited because you are a testament that Michael's message is reaching beyond his support base and is changing the hearts of those that at one time didn't believe in his innocence.
Michael is an incredible human being and the deeper you learn about who the real Michael Jackson is, the more you will fall in love with him and his mission.
You are also so accurate about Jermaine being the only one to say anything about the hoax even though they all are on Twitter and they are all aware of what has been said. Nobody, not even the younger generation has jumped on his bandwagon.
Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings to you <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY ManeZ! <!-- sbearhug -->bearhug<!-- sbearhug -->
Thank you for telling us your true story! I could not agree more with voiceforthesilent, that your story is such a good example of how Michael is reaching into people's souls and the ones who believed he was guilty is now opening their eyes! And it's AMAZING, that's how things are supposed to be. <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D --> I wish i could see more stories like this, i wish that one day all people will understand who Michael really is, how beautiful and pure his soul is!
So i hope that you will enjoy your time here and don't be scared of us we are NOT crazy as the rest of the world thinks <!-- slolol/ -->lolol/<!-- slolol/ -->
And please stop crying, don't be sad, Michael is very much alive! "What's the use of crying?" <!-- sbearhug -->bearhug<!-- sbearhug -->
It has made me a better person, and now, I just cant get enough of him and what he stood for.
I was never a fan either. I remember danciing to his songs at the nightclubs and hearing them on the radio, but that was about it.
I also wasn't sure what to believe about the child molestation accusations because I didn't pay too much attention to the media back then, although alot of people around me thought he was guilty.....I know the truth now, and I can't believe that a terrible extortion plot was made against him, and that makes me angry too. At least we can all fight for JUSTICE for MJ. That is a common goal believers and non-believers have........god bless and welcome to the family.....
<!-- sbearhug -->bearhug<!-- sbearhug -->