<br />Thank you, 777, for starting this thread - I was just digging in 'How do I open a new thread?'.<br /><br />Lately I just log in to read and find myself tired and sad, though I try to be carefull about what to read and TRY to avoid the negativity and bashing. But it seems that whatever issue is brought up it ends in endless argueing and attacking as in the new Front/Back thread or TII/TIAI or the new discussion about doggy-hatethread against Souza and other members.<br /><br />I refuse to believe it's human nature - and if it is we have to overcome. Several questions arise to me:<br /><br />1. How can we meet the 'negativity - wordbashing - personel attacking' by other means than opening another thread?<br />2. Do we know why people are being negative - can we judge them for being 'the bad guys' and be sure we are 'the good ones'?<br />3. Do we have means/tools to meet attackers in a constructive way and how can human-conflict-research help to overcome the bashing? Is it meaningfull to even try or do we have to accept that evil exists independently from good and lives it's one life?<br />4. Do we have to accept the fact of 'selective perception' - we choose to see what we WANT to see and have our 'blind fields'?<br />5. Are we ready to love unconditionally and not judge a person, but the way he or she expresses his or her thoughts?<br />6. Can we agree that nobody is born aggressive but made aggressive by traumas, circumstances and inner pains? If we can - how do we meet their sarcastic, cynical and aggressive utterings in a way that brings relief and not wordfighting pageupanddown?<br /><br />There are more questions to ask - the questions bring me to the bottomline of our human conditions and wether we can live in peace or in neverending wars.<br />I sure don't have the answers but if it's all for L.O.V.E. we should start to deliver answers, far away from obsession to 'THE ENTERTAINER' or figuring out the date for BAMsday. <br /><br />
<br /><br />@mjj4ever777: thank you for this "focus on L.O.V.E." thread bearhug<br /><br />@ heartwarrior: I agree with you and in particular you hit the nail on your conclusive statements:
There are more questions to ask - the questions bring me to the bottomline of our human conditions and wether we can live in peace or in neverending wars.<br />I sure don't have the answers but if it's all for L.O.V.E. we should start to deliver answers, far away from obsession to 'THE ENTERTAINER' or figuring out the date for BAMsday.
<br /><br />Our goal should be to make the utmost efforts to find the answers on your questions:<br /><br />
1. How can we meet the 'negativity - wordbashing - personel attacking' by other means than opening another thread?<br />2. Do we know why people are being negative - can we judge them for being 'the bad guys' and be sure we are 'the good ones'?<br />3. Do we have means/tools to meet attackers in a constructive way and how can human-conflict-research help to overcome the bashing? Is it meaningfull to even try or do we have to accept that evil exists independently from good and lives it's one life?<br />4. Do we have to accept the fact of 'selective perception' - we choose to see what we WANT to see and have our 'blind fields'?<br />5. Are we ready to love unconditionally and not judge a person, but the way he or she expresses his or her thoughts?<br />6. Can we agree that nobody is born aggressive but made aggressive by traumas, circumstances and inner pains? If we can - how do we meet their sarcastic, cynical and aggressive utterings in a way that brings relief and not wordfighting pageupanddown?<br />
<br /><br />At least we could try to find answers on these questions to come (close) to L.O.V.E. <br /><br />I refuse to believe negativity is human nature either, though negativity is part of human nature and this negativity is sometimes leading in a person's character. L.O.V.E. is keep believing in yourself and in others, even if they see the world with different or negative eyes. People may ask themselves, before judging instantly, why other "negative" people think or act "bad" and "not conform their conditions", what/who made them act like this? People may have reasons to think or act in a certain way and some do not know any better. A little more empathy and understanding in this world would make a BIG difference.<br /><br />Thanks for your enlightning post Heart bearhug<br /><br />L.O.V.E.
I haven`t logged in to the Forum for quite a while, but I´m really happy that one of the first things I´ve read here today was your post, heartwarrior. <br />I like the questions you´ve put out. One can feel that you´ve sincerely given thought to these matters of interhuman relations.<br /><br />All of us who call themselves "Believers" or "Soldiers of Love" should try to find the answers to that, even if not in public so at least quietly for ourselves. The willingness alone to dare a honest look inside ourselves to become aware of our very own sensitivities would pave the way for mutual understanding, for I believe only those, who are sympathetic and lenient towards themselves, are able to treat others in the same way - with kindness, empathy and respect.<br /><br />Yes, I think love is indeed the answer to many questions, when this love is genuinely true.
heartwarrior, your questions make it really clear to me that love is a decision/action and not so much an emotion. I think this is where most of the world is mistaken and that is where it should start: decide to treat everyone with sympathy, consider the interests, the state of mind, and the well-being of the other person, express yourself with gentleness even if you don't feel like it and the rage just wants to spew out, think twice before sharing a thought that benefits no one, think about what kind of effect your actions and words might have on the other person (whether it's the person you're addressing or an innocent by-stander who overhears your conversation or reads your posts), and decide that, regardless of how a person treats you, their behavior will not determine how you react. Love manifests in the interaction, in what you do/say and how you do/say it, but just because the person you're conversing with is love-less does not mean you should reply without love too. If anything, they need to be shown kindness and gentleness the most. Yet other times it is best to keep silent and not fuel a fight because they're stubborn and nothing you say will penetrate.<br /><br />Actions rooted in such emotions (fear/jealousy/lust/vegeance/anger/etc..) more often than not lead to trouble and suffering, but, above all, they completely ruin whatever peaceful atmosphere there may have been. I'm waiting for the day the people close to me realize this for themselves because no matter how much I remind them they just don't listen. They may even agree with me in the moment, but they go on living their lives as usual, complaining about the same thing day after day. I don't know how to explain it any more clearly. <br /><br />They just don't want to change; a part of them seems to enjoy the misery they inflict. <br /><br />Maybe one day they'll hear me.<br /><br /><br /><br />
<br /><br />They just don't want to change; a part of them seems to enjoy the misery they inflict. <br /><br />Maybe one day they'll hear me.<br /><br />
<br /><br />You couldn't have explained it any clearer melody <br />It feels like you have put so much energy in telling the one's close to you to change or holding a mirror in front of them (in a subtle way). I know where you are coming from. Never give up on this, and although you might think it is hopeless, have faith that they will listen sooner or later. Because when you loose faith in the fact that people can change there NEVER will be a change at all. <br /><br />L.O.V.E.
heartwarrior, your questions make it really clear to me that love is a decision/action and not so much an emotion. <br /><br />
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<br />heartwarrior, your questions make it really clear to me that love is a decision/action and not so much an emotion. I think this is where most of the world is mistaken and that is where it should start: decide to treat everyone with sympathy, consider the interests, the state of mind, and the well-being of the other person, express yourself with gentleness even if you don't feel like it and the rage just wants to spew out, think twice before sharing a thought that benefits no one, think about what kind of effect your actions and words might have on the other person (whether it's the person you're addressing or an innocent by-stander who overhears your conversation or reads your posts), and decide that, regardless of how a person treats you, their behavior will not determine how you react. Love manifests in the interaction, in what you do/say and how you do/say it, but just because the person you're conversing with is love-less does not mean you should reply without love too. If anything, they need to be shown kindness and gentleness the most. Yet other times it is best to keep silent and not fuel a fight because they're stubborn and nothing you say will penetrate.<br /><br />Actions rooted in such emotions (fear/jealousy/lust/vegeance/anger/etc..) more often than not lead to trouble and suffering, but, above all, they completely ruin whatever peaceful atmosphere there may have been. I'm waiting for the day the people close to me realize this for themselves because no matter how much I remind them they just don't listen. They may even agree with me in the moment, but they go on living their lives as usual, complaining about the same thing day after day. I don't know how to explain it any more clearly. <br /><br />They just don't want to change; a part of them seems to enjoy the misery they inflict. <br /><br />Maybe one day they'll hear me.<br /><br />
<br /><br />You say actions root in emotions and you´re right, I agree. It all comes from inside. Love, just as these adverse feelings you´ve named, is an emotion too by definition. I´d even say love is the strongest emotion of them all, it´s much stronger than fear or rage - if you truly feel it in your heart, it makes them appear ridiculous and pointless. <br /><br />When your heart is filled with love, it turns fear in confidence, rage in courage, vengeance in forgiveness, being hurt in being healed. It all comes from inside. All of your actions will then follow this feeling naturally. <br /><br />Definition of Love: a feeling of strong attachment induced by that which delights or commands admiration; preeminent kindness or devotion to another; affection; tenderness; as, the love of brothers and sisters.<br /><br />Love is like a key that opens the gate of happiness. It makes life colorful and sweet.<br /><br /><br /><br />That`s what I believe. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
@melody<;br />You're right, there is a decision to be made - I really think we can decide wether to love or hate. I can feel the lifelong efforts you have put into training of taking responsibility for your actions, 'regardless how a person treats you their behaviour will not determine how you react'. That takes a lot of guts and courage and requires contact with your own inner pains - then you can feel others pains however they occured. I don't know where other people's pains come from and, honestly, sometimes I don't wanna know, I have my own to deal with - but maybe it's enough to have the knowledge in my heart to keep me away from striking back but patiently wait until others gain courage. In lucky moments I can react like 'Oh, you seem to be very upset about this matter, tell me more about it' or something like that - in other moments I just fight to keep my mouth shut, knowing that I can't change others but only myself.
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