"Tho I'm with you, I am far away, & nothing is for real?"
Its her
Posts: 1,137
Dear Michael Jackson,
I've been thinking about your mystical thoughtfulness towards perfect strangers (and little else) with speechless awe, for days, now. Thinking about how Time doesn't intimidate or manipulate, or rush you. And how you seem to notice EVERYTHING; THINK of everything. And remember things no one else does...
You've stopped me. Still.
I've been thinking about how there ARE no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidence (and the illusion of reality), which you finesse, Sir!
You're GOOD. <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) -->
And, you are BAD.
Stopping my heart, only to give it this unfamiliar wingy flutter, as if...in that place called Hallowed Ground;
Then, seeming to disappear into the mist, as if simply, and very certainly, after all, ONLY a dream!
Well...Too late.
Sweet Dream, you've dropped something real into my heart (whether YOU meant to, or I'VE just lost my grip on true reality), and I'm keeping it forever for warmth. <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
I've been thinking about your mystical thoughtfulness towards perfect strangers (and little else) with speechless awe, for days, now. Thinking about how Time doesn't intimidate or manipulate, or rush you. And how you seem to notice EVERYTHING; THINK of everything. And remember things no one else does...
You've stopped me. Still.
I've been thinking about how there ARE no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidence (and the illusion of reality), which you finesse, Sir!
You're GOOD. <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) -->
And, you are BAD.
Stopping my heart, only to give it this unfamiliar wingy flutter, as if...in that place called Hallowed Ground;
Then, seeming to disappear into the mist, as if simply, and very certainly, after all, ONLY a dream!
Well...Too late.
Sweet Dream, you've dropped something real into my heart (whether YOU meant to, or I'VE just lost my grip on true reality), and I'm keeping it forever for warmth. <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
Comments
Only two things matter to me, firstly that he is happy (which I believe he is) and secondly that he achieves to his total satisfaction what he has put into motion, no matter how long it takes.
It's one helluva ride but I wouldn't have it any other way <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D -->
,
Do you think so? Thank you. <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) --> I was trying really hard, and coming up short, still, to describe what his thoughtful kindness DOES to a person. It is a miracle that his actions, kept secret by him, even come to my attention, but it is always the same: "Naaaa--no one is that selfless, OR that interested in regular life...I must be imagining things. <!-- s:oops: -->:oops:<!-- s:oops: --> <!-- s:roll: -->:roll:<!-- s:roll: --> "
But he really is! He doesn't even look back; he knows he blessed someone, and moves on to the next person/bunch. I always spend at least two or three days, dumbfounded, just soaking it in, wondering how he came to be like this.
When I first heard of "the room", I spent a couple weeks thinking about what kind of person builds a room in their house, in their home theater, for special needs children JUST so they can escape the clammering reality of their illness for a few hours <!-- s:?: -->:?:<!-- s:?: -->
He seems to exist to bring joy. I know and have observed a few show-people, who turn it on and off with their spotlight; and "holy", "religious", and even saintly people, dedicating some or all of their lives to service of others, but I don't ever see this kind of whimsical but very, very hushed joy, piercing hearts and blossoming BIG inside. This has nothing to do with duty or religion. It's like, how a rose is red or, a star is ablaze---they can't quit giving it; it is who they are. I'm still not saying what I want. I'm not saying he can't help it. Just that he doesn't.
Most people have just about enough love to spill out over a spouse and kids, some extended family and then they are exhausted. MJ seems to feel EVERYone is his loved one. Really!
Amazing. <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D -->
I just keep hearing this song, from a million years ago, in my head. Just this line: "I wanna be where you are OH! I wanna be where you are, Oh-oh...!"
I do want to be where he is----not dead or in hiding. I want to be where he is in his "love walk". He's perfected it somehow, where it doesn't seem to take SO much faith OR will just to do it, and I need to know this, BAD. <!-- s:( -->:(<!-- s:( --> (In order to heal my part of the world.) <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
Good. Yes. I feel "good", only, emanating from him. I realize I could be imagining everything. No man is that <!-- s --><!-- s --> good. But he IS undeniably thoughtful and kind. My feelings would be the same, if what I believe about him is true or not, as long as I believe it.. <!-- s:roll: -->:roll:<!-- s:roll: --> <!-- s:P -->:P<!-- s:P -->
I had ONE teensy twinge of, <!-- s:roll: -->:roll:<!-- s:roll: --> <!-- s:oops: -->:oops:<!-- s:oops: --> "AW, DON'T SAY THAT, YOU SAPPY DOPE! DON'T wear your heart on your sleeve! a hundred people may read this and it is no one's business."
But... I shook it off, because it was not FOR anyone else. It was only for him.
It's just that, this medium, here, is the only place I can even hope he will one day read or be told about this, even if way after the whole adventure is resolved, and I needed to thank him, SOMEhow. He doesn't DO things for thanks, so if he never sees it, that's ok, too. <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
I didn't confess undying love or promise him anything. I don't even know him, really, except as I imagine people used to get to know one another only through letters and correspondence. I know more things about him than he could know about me, so I am the one to remark first, that I appreciate things he does. Sometimes people feel as though they are "talking to themselves". I wanted him to see that I saw. That's all. <!-- s8-) -->8-)<!-- s8-) -->
P.S. I don't believe he has any trouble keeping women, as you say it. They have trouble keeping up with him, his selfless purpose for being alive. They probably all lie to him and just can't keep up the facade for any length of time. They feel jealous, left out, because they aren't the only thing on his plate. He simply hasn't picked anyone (that we know of!), who is as selfless as he is, because he attracts women who lust after his appearance of massive ego, high profile fame and wealth.
In reality, everyone speaks of him as if he is humility personified, and we KNOW he sees "his" money as something to give away to others and do good in the world with. They are attracted to the persona he projects to make that money. They are doomed to walk away. But God has someone for him. Perhaps he is taking time to be alone with her, now, during this hiatus from the public eye. I personally think this ARG is too complicated and consuming, but, hey---a man MAKES time to make time for his girl, when he finds True Love. <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) --> Love always looks the same. We'll know it, when we see him, if it is true. <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
As for his love life, he is getting on bit <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D --> so I hope he has found his "True Love" but as you say we will know if he has found her when he returns <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->