THIS IS TOO MUCH!
dyanne
Posts: 134
I've had my ups and downs but the last week was the worst. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I cry, I don't feel like seeing anybody. I just want to be left alone in my world online. I feel he is alive and 5 minutes later I am sure he is dead. It really hurts...
What hurts the most is the not knowing. At this point I would rather see a picture with him in the coffin, or one from the autopsy.... just to get it over with, to mourn and make peace with it. The fact that I don't know is killing me AND i'M LOOSING HOPE FAST
I have to go away from all this, to clear my mind and hopefully to make peace with myself. I cannot take this anymore!!!! I have to put myself together
Stay safe guys
LOVE
What hurts the most is the not knowing. At this point I would rather see a picture with him in the coffin, or one from the autopsy.... just to get it over with, to mourn and make peace with it. The fact that I don't know is killing me AND i'M LOOSING HOPE FAST
I have to go away from all this, to clear my mind and hopefully to make peace with myself. I cannot take this anymore!!!! I have to put myself together
Stay safe guys
LOVE
Comments
If you want me to help you not to lose the faith, I will help without a problem of course <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) --> But if you think it's better for you to step back ... then do it <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) --> Apparently you need it. Don't get your health worse <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
Take care dyanne! I really hope that you will feel better soon <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) --> I don't like seeing people in this situation ... <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) -->
There's no one I can talk to, cause everybody around me would think I've lost it. So I only talk to God and pray for his well being and for my sanity.
Thank you O-drey-O for your nice words...Hopefully I will feel better in a few days and come back with stronger believe. But at this point all I want to do is crawl in a corner and cry.
It does pass, trust me. You'll be fine. I'm feeling great right now just because I read a recap of all the things that don't add up. Believe me, the truth will come out one day. You just needa be strong. About a month ago I didn't want to see my friends, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep.. But then I thought, Michael wouldn't want this, dead or alive. Do what's best for you. If that means having a break from here, DO IT. Don't let this interrupt your life, just take time for you.
I think all I want is closure, but I'm not prepared to give up yet. MJ's the reason I came here and MJ's the reason I'm staying.
If you needa talk I'm here all the time. We're all a family on here so you know there are so many people to talk to! x
It will help you for sure ...
I know how you feel,I have trouble sleeping sometimes too and I lost some weight(that's one good thing <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) --> and I have to force myself to do things besides go to work and reading here!Sometimes I cry ,don't feel like seeing my friends 'cause I can't tell them about this...my daughter and my husband gets tired of my stories about Michael even if they thinks it's possible for the hoax...I have my sister at least,who adores Michael like me but sometimes I have such a bad day that I don't feel like talking about it,I feel so bizare inside,I can't explain...when I doubt and think he's really gone,I go crazy...I pray at night for the truth to come out <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) --> But you know what,in my heart,I feel that he is still with us(the Jackson family and that weird memorial and etc.. have help a little bit too <!-- s --><!-- s --> <!-- s --><!-- s --> )
Big hug to you <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) -->
L.O.V.E
Dyanne that sounds good...really it does. Sometimes it is better to stay away-I have done it for only a couple of days sometimes and it does help...because you can regroup and gat perspective that is not conflicted with everyone elses view points.
Sad to say-I have bad days and seeing a picture in a coffin would not help me,because then I would go into a whole new stage of the real reason it happened...there are too amny inconsistencies for ALL of the story to be true...thats what I think...and so I would rather believe that he is alive then he was killed. Know what I mean? Sometimes I wish I had never started questioning the whole thing-I am much to rational and level headed to delve into this type of thing-and yet here I am .... So you take your time-because we need our sabaticals to save our own spirits. <!-- s:D -->:D<!-- s:D -->
So, it seems to me that we got to a point where we need PROOF! We need to know FOR SURE that he is alive, to calm ourselves and go on with our lives...And I am afraid that can't be done, unless we SEE him alive! But (since Michael used to read the Bible) remember what Jesus said to Thomas : "Because you have seen me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen, and have believed."...
I know! I was so glad when it hit me that I could just go to the old board and grab it off my other profile! LOLLLL....I just dont get tired of seeing it! He was always the most gorgous when he was at that part of his concerts....