I'm losing steam guys...
hesouttamylife
Posts: 5,393
Something is starting to feel strange, it's like Michael is beginning to fade ever so slightly. The anticipation of something new and positive is not there. Are we at the end of discovery? What else is there left to discover or uncover? Seems no stones have been left unturned. Now it's just wait and wait some more. It's making me feel empty inside. Sad even. I don't know what's happening, but it doesn't feel good at all <!-- s:? -->:?<!-- s:? --> It feels like some lost reality is about to set in, and it doesn't feel like a positive one. Help. I need reinforcements. Something. I am not ready to give up or give in but nothing feels right anymore. <!-- s --><!-- s --> Am I losing hope? I don't know, but today has been a very depressing one and it's not getting any better.
Comments
L.O.V.E.
Annie
and now its gone.. and im sooooo into this..
that i cant think clearly..
im not gonna tell u to take a few days off..
cause thats impossible <!-- s --><!-- s --> well, it is for me
why dont u remember about all the strange things that happened ???
i mean.. it doesnt matter if hes comin back.. all those things scream HOAX ! all over the place
u cant give up with SO many clues just in front of your eyes ! <!-- s;) -->;)<!-- s;) -->
trust me <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) --> if u want to.. u can PM any time <!-- s:) -->:)<!-- s:) -->
But even still, there is an ounce of hope left inside me. I want June to come and go...then maybe I'll think differently..or maybe not...maybe I'll still be just as lost...
Michael...if all our thoughts of you could bring you to us - you'd have been back from the first day. You have no idea what you've done to the world...by disappearing...
I think he's really gone too, but I'm keeping an open mind.
I disagree that Sony and Aeg thought MJ was worth more dead than alive. I believe they and Michael knew that he was worth more dead supposedly to the public and fans, and still alive generating more creative genious for future selling. Hoaxing his death as well as being creative behind the scenes thru film and innovation "never doing the same twice" was what Michael clearly has spoken wanted to do, his dream. They make their money, he fulfills his dream. Will.I.Am said the whole music industry needed a jolt, and only the maker of Thriller could put it back in. This Is It, thriller II (TII) something "never done before" where we are all part of Thriller and MJ coming back from the dead (a form of 3D). Sony and AEG know they could literally dominate the planet if this happens according to MJ's dream. "It's all a part of the plan".
Beyonce beautifully said the truth, she wouldn't be performing if it wasn't for Michael, and neither would the whole musical industry be what they are today if it wasn't for him. Black artists have literally dominated music genre today. When you saw that crowd cheer as he received his award and the incredible words from the Guiness rep, "Michael is the most famous person on the planet, and sold more albums that any other artist, 750 mill and 104 mill just for Thriller." That crowd wouldn't stop cheering and people in the industry know Michael is the goose that lays golden eggs. Why would all those same people turn around and together conspire to knock him off and cover gleefully for bloody murder, like Kenny Ortega and Randy Phillips, Travis Payne, Frank Dileo, and down the list for hundreds who must have known way more than us. They and the family definately look fake sad, smirkingly happy. And I left out thousands of hoax proofs like Liberian girl connotations of Michael being behind the camera in all this.
You mentioned that it seems Michael doesn't have the energy for dancing anymore. Just this second I remembered a Utube clip of Michael in the van surrounded by his usual crowd, and one camera guy said, Michael can you still dance. And this stuck in my brain, Michael said, "Why wouldn't I still be able to?" Like "Dah! The MC at 02 said when he hugged MJ that he felt ripped. I loved that! Investigations here have shown strongly that he was likely MJ and not a double. As for someone dancing Thriller in his place, you think it was because MJ was unable. I think rather it honored him. Another clip Michael is surrounded again and someone is doing his dance on the street and MJ is killing himself laughing saying how he loves how he was doing his dance and really getting into it with even crotch grabbing and the police clears him away.
MJ had plainly intended on only touring so long so many years and backing away from that to other "projects", even before allegations, and repeated his dreams to Geraldo in 2007. Yes I'm a diehard beLIEver, not just gut feelings but based on all that I have come to know about MJ. He is a consumate prankster, like Lou Ferrenger(?) saying he would put a dummy in an abulance as decoy to send the Paps in the opposite direction. Elvis wanted out of his situation to live peacefully, don't know whether he's alive or not and don't really care. But Michael is different, yes he wants peace and quiet, however he has a greater desire and that is that his life would be "the greatest show on earth", and he felt God had a special calling on his life that he needed to carry out for the children of the planet (and more).
Today as I was walking the dog and natually listening to my man's music I was feeling pain and thinking how can I get out of this--I'm like a moth coming to the flame, powerless to get away. My heart is so desiring more of him and I dread the pain of withdrawal if 2011, 2012 and nothing. I'm thinking I'm such a fool, wasting all my time on this. Then I happen upon this thread where hoax or not is being battled out. I totally understand both lines of reasoning. MJ is such a genius in giving just enough evidence to be 99% convinced but it's not completely provable/could be explained away possibly, and the media and people in charge of maintaining the hoax like family and friends are doing such a good job, that we question our own sanity for believing otherwise.
The media have managed to put such a loathing for anyone considering any news story to involve a conspiracy or an unofficial version that conflicts with the main one. Even yesterday when I mentioned about the twin towers being imploded to my son, he said, "Oh mum you've got to stop with all those conspiracy theories". It's our brains that are literally being attacked here. Up is really down, and yes is really no. As I was walking I was thinking about whether Michael would really want this, us believers just going crazy with doubt, crazy with desire for him, and the irony is when we still had him here I wasn't even interested in him. But now we can't have him and we want him so badly... We only have each other and the internet world of information, a hope and pain. Well there's my thoughts...sometimes I need encouragement myself, so I understand what some of you are going through. Some days I'm so thankful for the postings of other beLIEvers to bring me up from the dumps, so I hope this helps someone.